ALONE IN THE DARK (a review)

ALONE IN THE DARK (a review)

This movie is directed by Uwe Boll. Now for most people -- or at least anyone who has ever heard of Uwe Boll -- that says enough. Uwe Boll is widely considered to be the worst director working/breathing/existing today. His movies regularly make the 100 Worst of lists and he is a virtual lock for a razzie nomination every time he gets behind the camera. He has had petitions formed with the idea of getting him to retire. He is best (worst?) known for his movie adaptations of video games. But I have to be honest here...for all the low budget schlock this guy has made, and for all the low budget schlock I watch, I had actually never seen a Uwe Boll movie and this one starred Christian Slater so I figured I'd give it a try. Of course, it also starred Tara Reid...

The story: As a child Edward Carnby (played by Christian Slater) escaped from a government paranormal agency that was experimenting on children and now he is a detective of the paranormal. When he recieves an ancient Abkani artifact that can open the gateway between the worlds of light and dark and unleash creatures that thrive on darkness, he and a young anthropologist who is also his ex- (played by Tara Reid) have to stop the demons from reopening the portal and destroying the world.

Was it good?

No. But I have to say it wasn't as bad as a lot of people make Boll films out to be. I mean, this is a film that had a 1% ranking on Rotten Tomatoes. Yeah, it's bad and a bit of a mess, but no more so than most low budget films.

First, my synopsis isn't that accurate. I mean, it leaves out a lot of stuff. That's one of the problems with the movie -- there are so many weird things going on and most of them aren't really explained and don't really make sense. It's like LOST, but without the good characters and emotion that made people forget all the questions and stupid crap that that tv show had.

I mean, first you have the ancient culture opening a doorway and unleashing demons. Then you have a government paranormal program. Then this guy escaped, but he's a paranormal detective and he had somethign done to him and the other kids in the program are involved. And he has an ex- and she is involved. Then there are creatures, but sometimes they take over people except they can't go in the light except as people they can and there's this mine shaft thing and...yikes. I don't know. By the 1 our point I had stopped really paying attention because none of it was working for me. Maybe for someone paying more attention all of this would have made more sense.

I will say that I like Christian Slater. Was this his best role? No, but it wasn't horrible. Tara Reid isn't good, but she isn't ridiculously horrible either. And Uwe Boll as a director? He's mediocre, which when paired with a story that's a mess makes him look really bad. I mean, there's no real visual style to the film, there are no good character moments, there's just nothing good to point to and say -- that's what this director can do well. If this movie had been directed with a stronger visual style (like PITCH BLACK) it would have fans. If the story had been better/more coherent it would have fans. If there had just been those 2-3 moments were people go "Cool!" it would have fans. But alas, the mediocre directing really killed it. And I do mean mediocre and not bad. If this guy had a tight, compelling script he probably could make a good movie. The problem is that he oversees the writing as well, so he gets the lame-script blame as well.

Still for kids looking for a creature/action film they could do worse. But of course they could also do much, much better.

*** AVOID ***