Sunday, December 30, 2012

LIMITLESS (2011) (a review)  *** AVOID *** 

Thriller directed by Neil Burger (The Lucky Ones, The Illusionist), starring Bradley Cooper (The Hangover, Silver Linings Playbook, The A-Team) and Robert DeNiro (do i seriously need to write the credits of Robert DeNiro?).  Written by Leslie Dixon, based on a book DARK FIELDS by Alan Glynn. 

The Story: Edward Morra (Cooper) is a down-on-his-luck loser writer wanna-be whose ex-brother in law gives him a pill that instantly makes him a super genius.  He proceeds to write a brilliant book and starts investing money, quadrupling his money every day.  This gets the attention of a rich business guy (DeNiro) who brings him in on a big merger/acquisition.  Meanwhile a loan shark keeps tracking Morra down to get more and more of the pills, using more and more violent means of persuasion.

Was it good?

No. This is a movie about smart people written, apparently, by the dumbest people on earth.  Let's just accept the fact that a pill can make you instantly smart.  No problem -- every sci-fi story takes a little faith (which is ironic since it's science fiction, right?), and if that's the basis of the story then let's give it to them and just go with it.  So what do these genius people do?  Well, first he writes a book...except being a genius doesn't mean you are going to be able to write a great book.  Plenty of brainiacs can't write at all.  Then he begins to do day trading (stocks) even though he has no trading and somehow is able to put these little bits of information together to make these great trades allowing him to quadruple his money EVERY DAY.  He also is instantly an expert martial artist because he has seen Bruce Lee movies (ignoring the fact that in those movies the people are just acting so it's not like he really is learning how to fight and of course the fact that just because know how to do a martial arts movie doesn't mean you are physically going to be able to do it as effectively as Bruce Lee)...but again let's just go with it because if those were the only problems with the movie, the movie would be silly but not actually really, really dumb.

By now Morra has started to work with a businessman (Deniro), helping him with a giant merger for which he promises Morra $40 million.  Which is stupid.  By now Morra has over $1 million on his own.  Quadrupling that every day means he would have $64 million in three days.  So why does he care about this guy?  He needs money (for something that isn't clear), but really he could make more money on his own.  So how does this make any sense???

Also, he is pursued by a loan shark who tasted a pill and now wants more.  So what does he do?  Basically nothing.  (He does hire body guards, but aside from being seen once I don't think they show up again.)  Wouldn't a smart person realize that this guy is going to keep coming back and do something about it?  Or come up with better protection than, you know, nothing???

Also, he's in constant danger of running out of the drug so he hires a guy to try to reverse engineer it.  Why?  Isn't he the super-genius that can do everything perfectly?  Why doesn't he learn the chem-geneering himself?  Why on earth would you trust a non-genius?  Why would you risk other people learning about the drug?  All he would have to do is take a month off from business and he'd do it perfectly.  And while he states he needs money, there really is no ticking clock where he has to have X dollars by X time, so what's a month?  Even if he blew the merger deal, there's always another business deal and he can do day trading and earn millions there.  So what really would be the smart move?

And that really is the problem with the movie -- it's a movie about people who are supposed to be geniuses, but really they act like the dumbest people on earth.  For instance at one point a woman is bing chased through a park by a man with a knife.  She tries to get help and the man kills them.  So her genius solution?  Grabbing a girl who is ice skating and twirling her around to use the girl's skate to kill the guy.  Is that really the genius solution?  Or is that the dumb-a** solution that a 14-year old boy would come up with???  Because I'm pretty sure that would get the woman in a lot of trouble and bring up even more questions (not to mention news reports and cops. 

But of course all of that is completely ignored because what better way to write about geniuses than with large, gaping plot holes???

Speaking of plot holes, at one point a woman Morra sleeps with is found dead.  At one point he is a suspect, but then it is never mentioned again.  Yep, that's smart writing.

Seriously, I could keep picking it apart but that would be a waste of time.  What the movie does well is keep moving.  So while each point might be stupid, it moves on to the next thing not letting you linger on its stupidity.

And Morra's big plan?  Run for Congress.  Because we're all better off with heart disease and cancer being solved by the non-geniuses.  Yikes.

*** AVOID ***