RSO [Registered Sex Offender] (2008)

RSO [Registered Sex Offender] (2008)

A mockumentary about a sex offender who gets out of jail and tries to adjust to post-prison life.

The story: A mockumentary about a sex offender who gets out of jail and tries to adjust to post-prison life.

Was it good?

Not quite. It wasn't horrible, but it wasn't up to some of the classic dark mockumentary movies like MAN BITES DOG. They do a lot of the stuff that you would expect -- going door to door telling people he is a sex offender moving into the neighborhood, trying to do job interviews, talking to girls, lots of weird sex stuff, etc -- but none of it really lands. It isn't horrible/painful as really bad mockumentaries can be, but it doesn't really generate many laughs either.

The difference, to me, is that the mocks that really, really work have more of a point of view. MAN BITES DOG and SPINAL TAP aren't just an environment and then thinking what funny/weird stuff can be throw in there. Whether it is an attack on the media's roll in sensationalizing violence (MAN BITES DOG) or a statement of both the ridiculousness and awesomeness of heavy metal (SPINAL TAP) they got at something. RSO has a lot of scenes that could have worked, but it needed a stronger point of view. The best scene in the movie is when he goes to a job interview he starts asking the interviewer what he would say to all the banal questions (what is your best trait, etc) and it is funny and would have been hilarious if they had just pushed it a little bit further. That's what the rest of the movie needed -- use the sex offender idea to hold up a mirror to everyone, show that we all are weird with our fetishes.

That and a little better improve and this could have been a keeper. However, as it is now it just doesn't find enough funny.

NOT RECOMMENDED

DANGEROUS WORRY DOLLS (2008)

DANGEROUS WORRY DOLLS (2008)

Another low budget movie from Full Moon (Pupper Master, Trancers, Demonic Toys), the people who saw Chucky and thought they too could make a living off evil toys. This one stars an actual actress, Jessica Morris (One Life To Live).

The story: A women in prison is being threatened by hostile inmates and guards. Her mom gives her worry dolls -- dolls you tell your problems to to make yourself feel better -- except one of them climbs inside her head and starts making her stand up to the inmates, the guards, and even the warden.

Was it good?

Not really, but it wasn't really bad either. I have a lot of respect for movies like these. They are shot in only six days, for almost no money, and while the FX might be cheesy they do a lot of good things in a small amount of time. Unfortunately, the biggest weakness they all have is the script. It makes no sense to me -- the script is the cheapest part of the filmmaking! Why not spend a little more time to really get the script to pop. Then instead of just another cheesey straight to dvd title, you might have a low budget project that could break out.

The biggest problem is that everything is too on the nose -- there's nothing really surprising. Once you say good girl gets possessed and starts turning the tables on the other people, you know the movie. It doesn't really seem to revel in it's B-movie nature, but it doesn't try to get away from it either. The acting is uneven, caught between hamming it up and trying to play it straight and while the directing got the job done there isn't anything to suggest a strong directoral vision either. It's a B-movie without shock, without camp, without the subversiveness of the classic great Corman films.

So while it wasn't horrible, it wasn't good enough to recommend.

NOT RECOMMENDED

MONKEY PUZZLE (2008)

MONKEY PUZZLE (2008)

Another movie about people who get lost in the woods. Seriously, with all these movies why would anyone leave the city. Has anyone ever gone out into the woods and come back alive?

The story: people go out into the woods and have to die

Was it good?

No. It was pretty boring, especially since I've seen about a hundred of these freaking movies in the last month. Bad things happen in the cities too, people! The idea for them going out in the woods is to find this rare tree that means a lot and while out they get lost and hurt and turn on each other...it's all standard stuff. It wasn't that it was bad, but I just felt like I had seen it all before. It's like a boring version of BLAIR WITCH PROJECT with better camera work, which oddly enough made it even more boring.

NOT RECOMMENDED

SPIKE (2008)

SPIKE (2008)

A strange, surreal...um, did I mention strange...movie that starts like a lost in the woods horror movie and transforms into something weirder, like a surreal horror movie inspired dream version of Beauty and the Beast. Not better, mind you, just weirder.

The story: four friends are driving through the woods when their cars gets a flat from a large spike in the road. They investigate and some get injured and one woman finds herself face to face with a strange creature -- a man cover with spikes who speaks in poetry -- who is turns out knew her and was/is in love with her. However, when she rejects him for her current, non-spike covered boyfriend the spike-guy becomes violent and she must find a way to escape and save her friends.

Was it good?

No. But is was oddly interesting and didn't feel like an empty headed, plot rehash of other movies which makes it a cut above a lot of the movies I watch. However, for "good" I want a movie I can recommend to people and unfortunately this one I just can't.

The story idea is interesting -- take the typical lost in the woods and hunted by a monster movie and transform it into a Beauty and the Beast type love story, adding a twisted love triangle. The problem here is that the love triangle didn't make sense. When it turns out she knows the creature (who used to be a normal guy seven years ago) it is the bizarre coincidence of all coincidences. I don't remember any reason given either to why he is now living in the forest and covered with spikes. Um, isn't that the sort of thing that needs to be explained? (Now I am a multitasker so maybe it's there and I missed it, but by then my mind was a-wanderin'.) So the crux of the story -- her relationship with spike-guy really comes out of nowhere and doesn't make a lot of sense.

The other problem is execution. The spike-guy likes to talk in weird wanna-be poetry, and for some reason when he starts talking like that the girl does to. Except it isn't good wanna-be poetry. It's like reading a bad version of Dr Seuss rhymes. And while the concept of this beauty and the beast story is interesting, the structure just isn't there -- it should be a love triangle, but there isn't much of a triangle. The girl is already kind of broken up from her boyfriend (he asked her to marry him and she refused...not a good sign) and it's not like you get a sense she is going to stay in the forest with spike guy. And, even worse from a writing perspective, the story doesn't explore anything within the love triangle -- why are we watching this? what is supposed to be interesting about THIS love triangle? Stories run on hope and fear, so what are we hoping for, what do we want to happen and what are we afraid will happen? There just isn't anything there.

So it's an interesting movie and it has some nice elements to it, but the story doesn't get into any interesting territory of the meat of the story (the love triangle) and some bad construction and the bad dialog means I can't recommend it. However, this is a movie that tries to do more than most of these indy films. If the writer/director can take this and improve they could produce compelling work in the future.

NOT RECOMMENDED

THE COLLECTIVE (2008)

THE COLLECTIVE (2008)

A thriller with a good concept, but not much thrill.

The story: after a call for help from her sister, a women comes to Manhattan to find her sister has become part of a cult. The sister insists she is fine, but only because the cult is forcing her and now the sister has to find a way to save her sister and escape from Manhattan.

Was it good?

No, but I don't want to rip it apart because it does have a nice, simple concept and it didn't do anything horribly wrong and did some things right. However, it's also the kind of movie filmmakers should fear -- it's bland. Even worse than horrible, it just don't make any real impression at all. That's why I compare it to film school films -- it is competantly made on a technical level (sound, camera, acting, concept, structure) so it shows some knowledge, but it never reaches beyond technique -- it never finds the art.

The good: let's start with the concept. While cults aren't really something that feel current, it makes for a nice concept. It has some give and take too, since people usually voluntarily join the cult so the play of is she there of her own free will or is something wrong gives the story an extra dimension from just a "save the sister" story. It is also a well structured story, with good story beats including a mid-point twist and a strong low point.

However, there are a lot of little problems that sink the movie. First, while I just mentioned the the script is good with the big beats of the concept, but what it doesn't do is get underneath the concept. It doesn't get us into the world of the cult -- it doesn't show up the fascination with cults, it doesn't make the cult feel sinister. This cult is just a couple guys, ya know. This is also bad because as the sisters are trying to escape, once they get outside the walls of the cult there's never a feeling like they will be caught (even though they keep running for another twenty minutes) because the reach of the cult is only to about three people. (And for some reason the girls don't go to the police or ask anyone for help...there's no reason given why they wouldn't they just don't.) A better script, one that got into the concept more would have helped...a lot.

But it goes beyond the script. The camera work and set design...it is all competant, but none of it gives you that sense of dread. None of it generates excitement. The bland camerawork is especially noticable during the chase scenes which have no energy or excitement (either visially or storywise).

Again, I don't want to sound like it was a horrible film, but sometimes bland can be worse than bad and I think this is a movie for filmmakers to watch to see what a bland film is like. There is nothing really surprising here, nothing that grabs your attention. Even the plot twists are pretty bland -- nothing people haven't seen a hundred times before. If you are going to put the time and effort into making a film, it's worth it to try to figure out how you are going to capture the audience's attention. You can make it claustrophobic (SAW), or you can add an interesting visual style (RUN LOLA RUN) or throw in some scenes that are shocking and memorable (Deniro with the baseball bat in UNTOUCHABLES). You have to give it a WOW Factor and that's part of what's missing here.

Because unfortunately, a well made bland film will often be forgotten faster than a bad film.

THIRST (2008)

THIRST (2008)

A horror movie that came recommended to me, not because of the movie but because of the script. How was a bit round-about. There was a discussion about script contests on a writing board I frequent and one of the posters is a reader for contests. He mentioned a script he read and liked that the head of the contest didn't and rejected that eventually got made into a movie. I was curious what kind of script would be good enough that the reader would remember from the hundreds he read for the contest. Even rarer, the script actually got made into a movie with Hollywood actors including Lacey Chabert (Mean Girls), Brandon Quinn (Entourage and The OC), Tygh Runyan and Mercedes McNab (Buffy the Vampire Slayer). This is a review of the movie.

The story: four friends (one a photographer and one a model) go out into the desert for a photo shoot at a very remote location, but then their car runs off the road and now they have to survive lost in the desert and beset by vicious animals.

Was it good?

Not really. The story is just what it is and there isn't anything more to it. They try to get to water, but make a bad decision and then worse and worse stuff happens. There are also some odd choices: Lacey Chabert is playing a med student who has to make lots of life saving decisions, including trying to operate in the middle of the desert. Now I like Chabert, but she doesn't really play a med student well. Not only that but McNab is playing a model but honestly, Chabert looks hotter on screen. The diecting doesn't help. Although they are supposed to be dying of thirst, you don't really get a good feel for the atmosphere of the place. It needed more style or, lacking that, it needed more plot to keep things moving along. Instead it comes off almost like a character movie, but with no depth to the characters.

It was interesting talking to the reader and getting what he had liked so much about the script. It was lean and a good read. It had some nasty turns to it and it kept moving. All of that seemed to be lacking on screen. Which I bring up to show how hard it can be both to judge a screenplay and to take a screenplay that got people excited and translate it to a compelling film.

One thing I've noticed with a lot of these "people get lost" movies is that you either need a good switch at midpoint to really change things up. The Descent is one of the best...girls get trapped spellunking and at midpoint they are attacked by an underground cannibal! But if you aren't going to have a good external twist then it needs to come from character, but that is something these lean thrillers always lack and so the second half starts to feel repetitious even if you try to throw in some twists. Then you have to rely on the concept to really carry the audience for the full two hours (or ninety minutes) which very few concepts can.

EXPLODING GIRL (2010)

THE EXPLODING GIRL (2010)

A movie I watched just because of the title. It is a misleading title. It, in fact, it a very, very, very quiet character film. Which isn't to say there isn't some good things about it, but unless you are multitasking it is going to be very, VERY slow.

The story? Ummm...I'm not sure there is one. There is this girl and then her boyfriend breaks up with her and there's this other guy who kind of likes her...that's it.

Was it good?

Look, with these sorts of plotless character films it comes down to a couple things: (1) is what the characters going through emotionally that gets to you and (2) is the acting/writing/directing good enough to make it feel real. Now, for me there just wasn't enough that the characters were going through. Yes, this girl gets dumped and I can relate to that (too well) and the other guy liking her I can relate to also, but it needed a lot more. That would be the first fifteen minutes of a normal movie and here it's the whole film. And, while the acting was good and the lead, Zoe Kazan, had a nice quality to her, the writing and directing didn't really add anything.

In the end it had a few nice moments, but overall was just too empty for me.

NOT RECOMMENDED

STUDY HELL (2006)

STUDY HELL (2006)

Did you watch BREAKFAST CLUB and think "This would make for a great horror movie? That teacher guy could just go nuts and try to kill them all?" Well, apparently the makers of this movie did.

The story: a bunch of kids are sent to detention where they are hunted and killed by the psycho teacher who is supposed to be watching them.

Was it good?

Not really. But it wasn't all bad either. IMDB has it as a 2.9 out of 10 and it's better than that. The bad is the fact that it is just a lowest of the low budget movie. Just visually, it looks bad. And the writing and acting don't do anything to elevate it. They aren't the worst of the worst, but there's nothing good there to really catch on. And for some reason the kids are cast with people who look thirty five. It is the most unbelievable cast of high school students since the 10th year of Beverly Hills 90210 when those kids were somehow STILL in high school.

So what made it better-than-dreck? The story. Specifically, the writer was smart and didn't just keep the concept of Breakfast Club, but kept some of the structure, so you get these different kids with different backgrounds and you have moments where they come together. Granted it was all basically just lifted from the original, but so many horror movies don't have anything other than the-thing-that-kills that for me it put this one just a bit ahead of the pack. There still wasn't enough to recommend it (nothing original at least), but it made the movie better than a 2.9.

NOT RECOMMENDED

The Mist (2007) by Frank Darabont

The Mist (2007) by Frank Darabont

This is the 2007 adaptation of a Stephen King novela by Frank Darabont, who has turned adapting Stephen King stories into a full career. Considering how bad Stephen King movies are when King adapts the material himself, maybe he is just out to prove that it can be done well.

The story: a group of people find themselves trapped in a grocery store by a strange mist that seems to have creatures inside it that are killing people.

So was it good? Um...kind of.

The story is more character based, focusing on the small town people and how they react to the strange mist. It seemed early on that it was an alagory for how people deal might a terrorist attack -- the uncertainty, the turning on each other, etc. This part was boring. We've seen a lot of it before and there just isn't anything new here. The doubt, then a monster shows up but only a couple people see it so most people still don't believe, etc. Eventually we get more monsters, which is okay, but doesn't really elevate this much. In fact, a lot of it felt closer to an EVIL DEAD movie than a Darabont film.

Still, for the most part it was enjoyable, but for some reason Darabont chose to have a dark ending. Like really dark. Depressing even to me. I don't know why. The main part of the story didn't feel like it was driving to such a hopeless ending. I think Darabont could have done better by watching the EVIL DEAD movies a few times more. The movie could have been a lot better if it were pushed in that direction.