THE COUNSELOR (2013)

This is a thriller (supposedly) directed by  Ridley Scott, from an original screenplay by Cormac McCarthy (All the Pretty Horses, ).  It has an all-star cast with Michael Fassbender (lead), Cameron Diaz, Javier Bardem, Penélope Cruz and Brad Pitt.

The story: A lawyer known only as "The Counselor" (Fessbender)gets involved in a drug deal with aruthless Mexican cartel, but when it goes bad the cartel come after him and everyone he loves.

Was it good?

No.  Why?  Because it was SOOOO BOOORING.  The entire first half of the movie is setting up The Counselor getting involved with the drug deal and it going wrong.  For the most part, it's just people sitting around talking in a strange, clipped way that I think is supposed to make them sound deep.  Maybe there's supposed to be a feeling of suspense, but it isn't there.  Also not there is motive.  No one seems to have a need for the money.  It's like all this is just a thing to do.  Also lacking is any real sense to the way The Counselor gets blamed for the deal going wrong.  It's just a strange coincidence.  Now coincidences happen and it can be okay for movies to turn on them, but you usually want them in the first quarter of the movie, not the second half.  From there, there's a feeling of inevitability as the cartel and other close in on The Counselor.  Now in all fairness, McCarthy's novels are incredibly praised in large part for the sort of "deep" sparceness he used in this film.  It just didn't work for me at all here.  It lacked tension, it lacked depth, it lacked emotion.  And the thing with Cameron Diaz uses the car windshield to masturbate herself was just dumb.

*** AVOID ***

See instead: GONE BABY GONE (Ben Affleck's directoral debut), EL MARIACHI (Robert Rodruigez's first feature length film), or RUN LOLA RUN.

BAD TEACHER (2011) (a review)

BAD TEACHER (2011) (a review)

An R-rated comedy starring Cameron Diaz, and co-starring Justin Timberlake and Jason Segal.

The story: Elizabeth (Diaz) is a bad teach. Doesn't care about the students or teaching or any of it. She is on the verge of quitting her teaching job so she can get married to a super-rich guy and be set for life, but gets busted that she's just marrying for his money and the wedding gets called off. She decides she needs money for breast implants so she can attact a rich guy. Then she meets the new substitute teacher (Timberlake) who is both cute and rich. Now she will pursue him while trying to raise the money for implant, however he is kind of a dork and instead she will become attacted to another teacher (Segal) who is just as much of a jerk as she is.

Was it good?

Yeah. It was good. Lots of funny parts and it was nice to see a woman in an outrageous comedy for a change. But there were also a lot of things that didn't work which stopped it from being in the same class as movies like FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL.

First, the story doesn't really make sense. She wants implants to attact a guy, but the guy she is going after doesn't seem to care if she has them or not. So the implants are to attact a guy like that one who doesn't care if she has implants or not??? Doesn't make a lot of sense.

And of course the second half loses its funny as she begins to realize the rich guy isn't for her and the other guy is the one she likes. Yawn. One of the things about these irreverent characters is that they are fun when they are bad and once they stop they become boring. Luckily that when the movie ends, but it's more of a limp-to-the-finish ending than a great rousing finale.

The best parts are when Diaz gets to be bad. Let her rip on some kids, be crazy, be sexy, be bad. That's the fun parts and those (along with some good lines by the supporting cast) are what make the movie worth watching.

*** RECOMMEND ***