COTTAGE COUNTRY (2013) *** AVOID ***

COUNTRY COTTAGE (2013)

A horror comedy directed by Peter Wellington.  Written by Jeremy Boxen.  Stars: Malin Akerman (Watchmen), Tyler Labine (Tucker and Dale vs Evil), Dan Petronijevic, Lucy Punch.

What's the story? A couple go up to a family cabin where the man plans on proposing (Akerman and Labine).  However once they are there, his brother shows up with his slutty girlfriend and begin annoying them until, by accident, the brother kills his brother.  Then they have to cover it up by killing his girlfriend.  Except the dead brother had already invited a bunch of friends over, and then the police show up...and the guy and his grilfriend have to try harder and harder to cover up the killing.

Was it good?

No.  It wasn't horrible.  But almost all of this was stuff that has been done before, again and again.  There's nothing really new here.  Labine's other horror/comedy TUCKER AND DALE VS EVIL was a wonderful refreshing and wacky mix of horror and comedy.  This is been there-done that.  You could do worse, but unless you are a die hard Labine or Akerman fan, you could do a lot better.

See instead: TUCKER AND DALE VS EVIL, EVIL DEAD 2, HOUSE, RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD.

OUT OF THE FURNACE (2013) *** AVOID ***

OUT OF THE FURNACE (2013)

A movie about brothers and revenge.  Directed by Scott Cooper (director of Crazy Heart, which won Jeff Bridges an Oscar) from a script he co-wrote.  Stars: Christian Bale, Woody Harrelson, Casey Affleck, Forest Whitaker, Willem Dafoe, Zoe Saldana, Sam Shepard.

The story: After getting out of jail, one brother (Bale) tries to look after his younger brother (Affleck) who is in debt and getting involved in an underground fighting ring run by violent drug dealers.  When the younger brother goes missing, the older brother goes to find out what happened...

Was it good?

No.  There's nothing wrong with the concept -- in fact, it sounded pretty cool to me when I first saw the previews for it.  However, this is not an intense thriller.  This is a slow, plodding, disconnected character piece with the trappings of a thriller.  There's never any mystery and there are no interesting twists and turns.  There really aren't any thrills -- what little conflict there is always has a feeling of a result that is inevitable.  Now that alone doesn't mean it is bad.  A slow character piece can still be fascinating, but there just isn't anything fascinating here.  There's no depth, no conflict.  It's a movie that seems to want to say something but ultimately seems to have nothing to say.

Now all this isn't to say the movie is all bad.  The performances by Bale and Harrelson are solid.  They just don't have much to do.  Bale plays the tough but caring big brother.  Harrelson plays the dangerous psycho.  That's it.  No exploration of character.  There's also a bunch of other elements that never really pay off -- Bale going to jail, Bale losing the woman he loves, Bale losing his father.  Maybe all that was supposed to push him to a point of desperation with his brother, but it seems like losing your brother is already enough to make you do anything to find him, so none of that really felt like it added anything.

In the end, while some of the performances were solid, there just wasn't enough here to overcome a sloppy, plodding screenplay and a lack of character depth or theme.

*** AVOID ***

RAZE (2014) ** RENTAL ***

RAZE (2014) *** RENTAL ***

Hot chicks beating each other to death in an underground fight club.  Dicrected by Josh C. Waller.  Written by .  Stars Zoë Bell with Rachel Nichols, Tracie Thoms and a cameo by Rosario Dawson.

The story:  a woman is abducted and awakens in an underground bunker where fifty abducted women have to fight MMA style to the death or their loved ones will be killed.  Only one will survive and she will be given her freedom.

Was it good?

Kind of.  It was entertaining.  There really isn't any story -- just hot women pounding the hell out of each other -- but it seems to understand that and doesn't try to do too much.  It doesn't have the gonzo fun of the typical women's prison movie, with tawdry sex going on as well, and there isn't really any social statement here. There's also no humor.  But as a rental, where you can talk and play cards, this has some good fight sequences for background entertainment.  Still...it would have been nice if they had done a bit more, especially considering they had Zoe Bell and Rachel Nichols.  Not film worth price of admission, but for a couple buck rental, it's more solid than a lot of low budget films.

*** RENTAL ***

THE FOLLOWING (season 1) *** AVOID ***

THE FOLLOWING (season 1)

A tv show starring Kevin Bacon as an FBI agent.  Created by Kevin Williamson (Scream, Dawson's Creek, Gossip Girl exec producer).

The story: a serial killer who, while in jail, gains a cult following of people willing to become serial killers and follow his every command.  They break him out of jail and set out to capture his ex-wife and son, whom he loves.  It is up to the ex-FBI agent (Kevin bacon) to come back and catch him.

Was it good?

No.  Don't get me wrong, there is a lot to like about the show.  Kevin Bacon is always interesting and James Purefoy, who plays escaped serial killer, is great.  The idea of a cult of killers is interesting as well.  The problem is that every acts incredibly stupid.  The serial killer wants his ex-wife back, but his plan is basically just send people with guns to any place he might think.  The FBI agents are also stupid.  Seriously, they let the cult agents get the drop on them every episode.  It's amazing how often it happens.  These agents look less competent than Paul Blart, Mall Cop.

Unfortunately, while there is a lot of interesting elements in the set up, nothing is really explored.  A cult of serial killers?  Cool.  But does it explore that?  Not really.  It's just a cult.  Go with it.  You get more insight into character in an episode of CRIMINAL MINDS.  And for all the backstory about the characters (the FBI agent fell in love with the killer's ex-wife) there really isn't anything going on interesting there either.  The way it is set up it is supposed to be a chess match, but there's nothing that either side is playing for.  The killer wants his ex-wife back.  Why?  And how does he think he will get it?  Again, there's an idea but it's just an empty one, a placeholder so you will watch people run around with guns.  What does Kevin Bacon want?  There's also no clear end game.  Chess works because we know what the endgame is -- checkmate.  You can guess from the FBI side it is capturing the bad guy, and yet there's almost nothing about locating him or capturing his people.  And of course, there's the ex-wife who is at the center of it all and is as well developed of a character as a table lamp.

Maybe the show was exciting in its original run, with episodes spread out a week apart.  But marathoning this show just makes all the empty, stupidity of it way too obvious.

*** AVOID ***

KILLER HOLIDAY (2013) *** AVOID ***

KILLER HOLIDAY (2013)  *** AVOID ***

A horror movie by Marty Thomas.  Stars Michael Copon, Rachel Lara, Julia Beth Stern, Alex Mandel, Rachel Wixom.

The story: a group of friends go on a road trip and visit a closed amusement park where they are stalked by a sadistic killer.

Was it good?

No.  No, no, no, no, no.  It's horror that has absolutely nothing scary about it.  And that could work if it were entertaining in some other way -- if there was an interesting dramatic thru-line or if it was funny...but there's nothing here.  the killer is just this guy who acts like he is auditioning for Beetlejuice (without realizing this isn't a comedy).  Slasher films can work easily in one of two ways: (1) give us characters we like and build the horror as they are killed off or (2) give us characters we don't like and build the enjoyment from watching them die.  Of course that helps if you have a villain who is scary or imposing in some way.  This is just this guy.  Seriously, I don't even I would be scared of him and I'm a wuss.  What would be nice is if directors thought for a few minutes about what is actually scary when constructing their scripts instead of thinking they can just copy the copy of a copy of a movie that made an impact 30 years ago and think it will have any impact.

This isn't a movie to avoid simply because it is bad.  Bad movies can be fun when the filmmakers are trying to explore something they think are interesting.  It's a movie to avoid because it's just a crappy, lazy copy.   Why bother?

**** AVOID ****

BOUNTY KILLER (2013) ** RENTAL ***

BOUNTY KILLER (2013)

A post-apocalyptic action comedy with sexy bounty hunters.  Directed by Henry Saine.  Stars Matthew Marsden and Christian Pitre with appearances by Kristanna Loken, Beverly D'Angelo, Eve,  Alexa Vega and Gary Busey.

The story: After corporate greed has left the world a giant wasteland, white collar crimes get a death penalty.  Bounty Killers are the people who go after them and are celebrities with fans.  The story follows Drifter (Matthew Marsden) and Mary Death (Christian Pitre) as a bounty is placed on Drifter and they team up (after she goes after him for the bounty) have to evade killers and gypsies to track down the council to find out what is going on.

Was it good?

It was entertaining for a bit.   The strange mix of desolation and celebrity was interesting, and this is certainly a movie that tries to do a lot more than most low budget films.  The co-star Christian Pitre is beautiful and energetic.  This is a movie that just wants to be a B-movie, almost more homage than
real film.  Where as other movies like DEATH RACE 2000 and MAD MAX used the concept to delve into something more, this is just all superficial fun.  Unfortunately, like most movies that are 70% recycling, the humor isn't funny, the characters are cardboard, the plot doesn't make sense and ultimately the movie feels like a pretty empty thing.

Still, Considering the title and cover, you get the feeling the renters will know what they are getting, and while it doesn't have enough to it to make it a cult classic, it has enough for people who like action, sexy women, and ridiculous sci-fi a watch.

***RENTAL ***

HATCHET 3 (2013) *** RENTAL ***

HATCHET 3 *** RENTAL ***

This is the third (and last?) in the series for HATCHET, the horror series by Adam Green.  Green doesn't direct this one, but he wrote and produces it.  Directed by BJ McDonnell.  Starring Danielle Harris, Kane Hodder, Zach Galligan, Caroline Williams, Robert Diago DoQui, Derek Mears.

The story: Picking up where HATCHET 2 left off, Marybeth Dunston(Danielle Harris) kills Victor Crowley (Kane Holder), then goes to a police station where she is immediately made the prime suspect in the murder of all the people from HATCHET 2.  First the police, then FBI go to  Honey Island Swamp to investigate.  Meanwhile, Amanda Fowler (Caroline Williams), who wants to write a book about Crowley, tries to interview Marybeth, telling her that Crowley can't be killed because he is already dead.  Now the police are attacked by a rejuvenated Crowley and Marybeth with Amanda will try to find a way to stop Crowley once and for all.

Was it good? 

It was, especially the first half.  Starting with a bang, we get right into the action.  Then having Dunston locked up while the police investigate was a nice twist to the standard horror plot and keeps everything interesting.  The writing and acting aren't anything special here, but Danielle Harris does a nice job and it's good to see Zach Galligan (who starred in one of my favorite movies of all time -- GREMLINS!) here as well.  The story really bogs down when the rejuvenated Crowley begins attacking the police, where everything starts to feel very by the numbers.  By the end I didn't really care which side won.  Crowley kills people.  They kill him, but he isn't really dead and he kills a bunch more and they kill him again, but he isn't really dead, etc, etc.  Just crazy repetitious.  Some of the beats were entertaining, but you never like or hate the characters enough to root for or against them. 

Still for all the predictable parts and not-funny dialog, there is still enough here that I liked to recommend it to horror fans.  This isn't horror that will thrill, but for a slightly twisted group looking for a group looking for a fun Friday night splatter-fest, this will fit the bill.

*** RENTAL ***